I have a family. We are a family. I bore these children, made from my own flesh and blood. I labor for them. I love them. I nursed them. I nourish them.
But, when I listened to President’s Nelson’s talk on the Sunday Morning Session of General Conference, I heard how my labor, nursing, and nourishing would be all in vain if we did not all make and keep the prescribed covenants that his heaven requires. In short, we would not be together in his heaven, because, as he himself stated,
“Salvation is an individual matter, but exaltation is a family matter.”
Families Can’t Be Together Forever?
The faint tune, “Families Can Be Together Forever,” started to replay in my mind; the familiar hymn sung by children and adults alike frequently in our church echoes the Prophet’s words. Suddenly, I came to the realization that just as our church teaches that families can be together forever, it is also the only church that teaches that families *can’t* be together forever. This is a sad heaven.
Author Deborah, from Sisters Quorum, put this concept especially eloquently, when she stated,
Christ Taught Of Love First And Foremost
President Nelson went on to say,
President Nelson, I don’t know about that. But what I do know is that Christ did say,
“This is my commandment, That ye love one another as I have loved you.”
(John 15:12)
I do know that Jesus taught of a heaven that leaves no one behind.
I do know that Jesus ministered to those who were un-ministerable.
I do know that Jesus embraced unconditional love.
Spiritual Coercion Is Not Of Christ
I also know that it is abusive to say and believe that your family will not be together when you die because of differences in beliefs, inability to conform, or unwillingness to make covenants. Life is not black and white. It is harmful to perpetuate this belief as universal truth.
As a single mother who has had no choice but to step away from the church for my own safety, my children (who still sometimes attend) are damaged and harmed when they hear this rhetoric, as it causes psychological trauma and is spiritually coercive and emotionally threatening. No mother should ever have to hear her child ask, “Why can’t we be in the same heaven, mommy?” It is not ok. And it is certainly not healthy. As a community health nurse, this is deeply concerning–ethically speaking, as it is indicative of an unhealthy institutional system. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints should not be in the business of spiritual alienation. But, as it appears, it most definitely is.
Heaven Will Be A Place Of Love Not Longing
I fully embrace the teachings of Jesus Christ, which is why I teach my children that nothing will separate us. Ever. Because this *is* what Christ taught. Heaven will be a place of love, not a place of longing. It will be a place of healing, not a place of hurting. It will be a place of well-being, not a place of wounding. It will be a place of peace, not a place of pain. It will be a place of tranquility, not a place of trauma. It will be a place of togetherness, not a place of terror. It will be a place of safety, not a place of separation. It will be a place of elation, not a place of encumbrance. It will be a place of goodness, not a place of grief.
A place where I can remember how I labored for my children. How I nursed each one. A place where I can continue to nourish them because they will be right there with me as a reminder of this love. A place where they can know that I am there always, because this is what children should know about the unmatched love their own parent has for them.
Yes, we will be together in my heaven. All of us. No matter what. Because, a sad heaven is not a place I want to go; our happy heaven is.
And we like our heaven better.
